heng_like_a_dragon

[There's the sound of relief in his tone, and Noah seems to relax a bit from before.]

Thank you. I'm grateful I have friends here who are willing to help me through it. I don't think I would have done as well as I have otherwise.

In terms of things to discuss, my main concern was... [A beat, and Noah sighs.] How do I put this? Since remembering my actions as Sunday, especially with Ena's Dream, I just didn't want any of you to think I was avoiding you and planning something terrible. [The memory of Dominicus coming after him down the hallways of the Event Horizon is not one that he's forgotten easily.] I don't have many plans for myself right now beyond completing school and figuring out what I want to do from there.

[He also adds this-] And while I do understand Sunday's want to help others, there is still so much that can be done outside of what he chose. I myself want to comfort people and do what I can- but I won't sacrifice their freedom or their own identity in my effort to try.

Mm... I can relate, unfortunately. Having people who are willing to support you, even when you're not ready to talk about what happened in your past... it is a blessing.

[Dan Heng waits patiently as Noah puts his thoughts into words. Eventually, he nods in approval and gives him a small smile.]

I believe that is a wise decision. Specifically learning from your past life and being more cautious about falling into those same traps. It can be very difficult, and it's something I myself am still learning. The traumas and bad habits of one's previous lives... can be difficult to break through to form better habits and heal from them.

[The former High Elder hesitates for a moment.]

If... you would like, I am willing to listen and give advice about reconciling your past life with your current life. I do not know if you were told or if you understood at the time, but I was the High Elder of the Luofu Vidyadhara. I would be happy to help you on this matter.

I'm thankful you have people like that, truly. I... [Noah tries to think here, pausing.] I spent much of my childhood isolated from other people, as Sunday. I suspect it was how Gopher Wood made Sunday rely on him exclusively. [He exhales.] It is not a loneliness I would wish on anyone.

[But there is a bit of a laugh here, a harmless one.] Would you believe me if I said several of my friends have already told me they plan to "drag me back by my halo" if I begin to go down old paths? Jokingly, of course.

[But at the offer, Noah very clearly lets out a startled noise. It's apparent he wasn't expecting help at all.

His voice is soft, but there's warmth to it, a smile easily heard even though it can't be seen.]

...I would, actually. It's difficult to separate myself, at times, from the things I remember doing, back then. Regardless of how many times I hear it, actually believing that I shouldn't take the blame for Sunday's actions... [There's the sound of an exhale, and Noah shifts, one finger idly plucking a string on his violin. He'd brought it out to practice before the idea of contacting Dan Heng had struck him, and now it's simply there as an object to keep his hands busy.] I'm sure you understand. I would be grateful for any sort of help you'd be willing to give at all. Thank you, Dan Heng.

[Although it's not on the same scale, it does strike a chord in Dan Heng. He remembers more clearly in this life how his Preceptors tried to isolate him, and how they disapproved of his friendships within the High-Cloud Quintet. Gopher Wood took a different tactic, but it's still one that he understands deeply. Someone trying to mold another into being the perfect tool for their plans.]

...Neither would I.

[Dan Heng lets out a soft 'heh.']

I would. Many of the people here are very, ah... assertive about such things.

[Even he's been that assertive, which is new for him. It's quite refreshing if he's being honest with himself.]

I do. It can wear at the spirit and erode your sense of self. Sometimes... it paralyzes you in fear of what you are capable of doing in the future if you are pushed back to that same situation. [He pauses for a moment to think.] I think... that it's important to acknowledge what you've done, to keep in mind and acknowledge that you might even do that again if you were pushed to that brink again. There's no shame in that acknowledgement. You are simply understanding yourself.

If you find yourself slipping back to the person you'd been, my best advice is to reach out to the people you're closest to. The people who know who you are now. Let them help to ground you in this present life. And if you have no one you can turn to at that time, you can call me any day or night. I will help you.

[You should really take your own advice, hypocrite.

Ignoring Vritra, there's a dryness in Dan Heng's voice as he adds:] I don't need much sleep nowadays, so you will not be bothering me.

Edited 2025-01-12 15:47 (UTC)

[He laughs again.] Assertive certainly is a word for it- though I can't exactly say I'm opposed. Goodness knows I need it, in some ways.

Yes, I've slowly begun to try and accept that this was what I thought was right, at the time. Even if it would never be something I'd choose now. It's- I wish I had a term for it other than "distressing," as that feels almost too light for the situation. [A pause.] Over time I hope the acceptance will become easier to fathom. And I'll be sure to reach out to people I know, should I find myself falling on old habits.

I see. I... unfortunately learned I don't need much sleep anymore when I was on the ship, back in October. [The very same one March was kidnapped to.] While I don't believe I'll need to contact you at a drastic hour, I'll keep that in mind. Hopefully it will be something I can manage over time.

quick q is Arceus like an aeon

[Blade sends a picture of his forge in Hyrule. There is a massive hole with an out of place carved stone staircase going deep underground, glowing with faint purple sigils. It's like two feet from his workshop.]

Anyway.

Are you both free on Saturday?

[Bruh.]

As it just so happens, I'm free that day. I take it that's our "date" destination?

[Dan Heng stares at this for a very long time before going to make himself a nice pot of jasmine tea.]

[Dan Heng could give him the long explanation. That Arceus is closer to a god than a force of nature deity like the Aeons typically embody, with very notable exceptions. Instead, he condenses it down to a short answer that's open to further questioning.]

No.

Okay, so them praising me for passing my exam can't be the reason I have wings now?

... No. That is a separate issue. Have you been interacting with the fey again or is this another mutation?

I haven't been near the faeries! ...knowingly, anyway, I dunno, maybe they were walking by the other day??

It is unfortunate that I can't rule out that possibility when it's you we're talking about.

[Such a dry joke. Still, he gives that some more thought.]

Is this the second or third type you have acquired? I understand you had some raccoon traits, and now faerie wings....

Uh, second I think. I also scatter dust when I flap the wings?

Then this is a relatively normal occurrence for app users. I myself have two that are not normal to being a Vidyadhara.

So it's normal to just turn into Tinkerbell?

Shockingly, yes. I'm fairly certain that my cousin's fiance has also acquired faerie traits, and he's a god.

...Kaisou is kinda broken, huh?

Unfortunately, yes. The damage done to the Spirit Vein has truly staggering consequences. Keep an eye on your changes, though. I've been hearing that people can use two elements at once, and that is... alarming.

Oh, yeah, that's a thing I can do, too.

[CALEB MENTION THESE THINGS???]

[He runs a hand down his face.]

So can Blade. I suppose I'll have to check with Jing Yuan, now, to see if he's kept that from me.

[Dan Heng loves you all, but he desperately needs an aspirin and possibly an hour in the bath.]

In my defense, the last couple of months have been insane? I'll bring you tea?

[ chuckles. ]

As am I. [ honestly he is free whenever either of them require something of him, regardless of what he may or may not be embroiled in at the time. ] Although I was hoping for a relaxing Saturday evening.

If you don't mind.

[He's doing things with his hands now so voice chat it is.]

The evening could still be relaxing. Depends. [He talks around the pen in his mouth for a second.] I don't know what's down there or how deep it goes, but that's part of the fun.

I could also go by myself, but I doubt either of you would approve. We might want to bring more people, just in case.

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