heng_like_a_dragon: (It was all just a lie (3))
Dan Heng ([personal profile] heng_like_a_dragon) wrote2037-09-02 11:43 am

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unreachableside: (☾ you will never be good enough)

[personal profile] unreachableside 2023-09-10 02:23 am (UTC)(link)
[Ah, yes, there's the coldness. He remembers.

But there's something else, too. Despite the resemblance, the mannerisms, all of that—even Blade can see the differences. Yingxing had dedicated his life to revenge and the other Blade had, too, but all he cares about is making something that outlasts him.

... Maybe neither of them are truly like their past lives. Maybe Dan Heng is right (yet again).]


I never asked you to be Dan Feng. [Dan Heng's bristling doesn't bother him any. He turns back to the railing, and rests his elbows on it once more.] Not that I recall him in any great detail, anyway.

[He remembers the intensity of that fire, though. A love so passionate, and a life so changed...

But it's the accusation that the demon is his friend that makes Blade snarl. His lips pull back around his teeth.]


That thing isn't my friend. It's my prison warden. My executioner. But never, ever a friend.

[He peers at Dan Heng, one eye obscured by the angle and his hair.]

I do not recall selling my soul. It's just one more violation tallied on this body.
unreachableside: (☾ bleed for me won't you bleed for me)

[personal profile] unreachableside 2023-09-10 03:00 am (UTC)(link)
[After a minute, Blade relents.]

... It's fine.

[He lets out a sigh and follows Dan Heng's gaze to the skyline. This bougie-ass apartment complex really does have a nice view of Brick Alley and all the cute little shops anyone could ever want. It would have made another person very happy. But to Blade, all he feels is emptiness.

Something is missing. Something that he fills with what he creates, though it never lasts longer than a minute. When he thinks about pulling away from everything, turning off his phone and never looking at the app again... he knows it would be even less fulfilling than what he's doing now.

Could he cut Dan Heng out of his life now that he's in it? Sure. But it wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't be right. It... it would only drive him madder than he already is. Blade... aches. That is probably the other Yingxing's burden, but the hurt feels all the more real because he can't pinpoint where it's coming from. It's overwhelming and uncontrollable. It makes his demon itch.

When he speaks again, his voice is low and quiet, with barely a trace of the gruffness he usually carries. He sounds small and defeated.]


... Is that what you want? To start over from the beginning?

[Is such a thing even possible?]

You don't owe me anything. You could cut your losses and run.

[Maybe Blade could chain himself to something so he doesn't pursue Dan Heng while out of his fucking mind.]
unreachableside: yx; (☆ i've spent too long in the dark)

[personal profile] unreachableside 2023-09-10 03:25 am (UTC)(link)
[Blade shows some muted surprise at that. He really is offering... despite everything. Dan Heng truly is the most stubborn person Blade's ever met. ... Yet he can't bring himself to dislike it.

The glowing crimson might look terrifying most of the time, but for a moment, it seems... warm. Less of a demon's flame, and more like an ember.]


We did. [As usual, Dan Heng is correct.]

If you are hoping that I'll make you a nice lunch like you did for me, you'll be disappointed. My cooking is extremely basic.

[Is. Is this levity? This is levity, because the next thing he says is:]

I know a good pizza place, though.
Edited 2023-09-10 03:26 (UTC)
unreachableside: yx; (☆ begging to believe)

[personal profile] unreachableside 2023-09-10 03:51 am (UTC)(link)
[That humor is dry as hell, but it gets a snort out of Blade so that's progress. Probably.]

It doesn't have to be pizza. I know how picky people get about the style.

[Well. If Dan Heng wants to stay a little longer, Blade isn't going to turn him out onto the street. He can try this... starting over thing. Dan Heng is trying and he's just as much a victim here as Blade is.]

... There's a Cantonese place about a mile west. They deliver.
Edited 2023-09-10 03:51 (UTC)
unreachableside: (☾ so i can go on)

[personal profile] unreachableside 2023-09-10 04:17 am (UTC)(link)
Pineapple is still on the table as far as I'm concerned. I know that can make or break some people. [Which is why he's fine just ordering his own damn pizza at work.]

Hold on, then. [He pops into the kitchen to grab the menu out of a drawer. It's in both Chinese and English. He unfolds it and offers it to Dan Heng.]

I always get the char siu. [A pause, and then:] I can share.

[Dim sum with the reincarnation of the guy who tried to kill you/did actually kill you a few times? Sure, fuck it, why not.]
unreachableside: yx; (☆ what if i can't see your light anymore)

[personal profile] unreachableside 2023-09-10 11:11 am (UTC)(link)
[The face Blade makes at the mention of sardines is expressive even for him. It's safe to say he's not a fan, at least in this life.] Sardines don't belong anywhere near pizza whatsoever.

[He grabs his phone off the living room table and pulls up the number for the Cantonese place. He pauses for a second when Dan Heng offers to share.

It's just a favor done in return, but...]


... Sure. It's probably good.

[And it's hard to fuck up fried rice, but somehow, Blade has done exactly that.]

Do you want anything else?

[He is in his own house but this feels like... god, is this what a fucking date feels like? Is that why he's so nervous suddenly? No, he's not going to think about it. He's not.]
unreachableside: yx; (☆ what if i can't see your light anymore)

[personal profile] unreachableside 2023-09-11 12:02 am (UTC)(link)
They're usually generous with the rice, anyway.

[He dials up the restaurant, because it's so mom and pop it doesn't have a doordash listing. He orders in a mixture of English and Mandarin, which appears to be pretty normal for him; the lady on the line can clearly be heard laughing and reminding him what the Cantonese word is.]

Half an hour, [he says, and rubs at the back of his head.] I understand more Cantonese than I thought, but I don't think I can speak it.

[noooooooot making eye contact]

... Auntie teased me.

[Anyway... He'll sit down and grab his drink, too.]

I tried to pick out something nice. I usually drink something off the middle shelf, if I drink at all.
unreachableside: (☾ between the pages two and three)

[personal profile] unreachableside 2023-09-11 01:48 am (UTC)(link)
[Oh god. How did he know?]

I said the Mandarin word for something instead of the Cantonese one. [A looooooong pause.] ... And she noticed I was ordering for two.

[He sips the wine and hopes his face isn't too red.]

... I knew I'd be telling you some upsetting things. The least I can do is provide something good to drink.

[He swirls the wine in his cup for a moment.]

Besides... you're the first person I've shared a drink with since the accident.

[It's not a date, but it is a milestone... Maybe he's learning to live, little by little.]
Edited 2023-09-11 01:49 (UTC)
unreachableside: yx; (☆ don't want to leave the past)

[personal profile] unreachableside 2023-09-11 02:27 am (UTC)(link)
[Yet another reason he couldn't speak Cantonese even if understands some of it. It's easy to become tongue twisted when he's being teased...

He's feeling a similar tangle of emotion, but rather than talk about it, he's going to be like Dan Heng and just drink through it. He tops off their cups, then picks up his own for what appears to be a toast.]


To new beginnings.