Dan Heng (
heng_like_a_dragon) wrote2037-09-02 11:43 am
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... You're welcome.
[Don't mind him. He's feeling a little shy. The High Elder takes the plates and sets them at the table before taking his seat, too. Dan Heng takes a few bites of food in silence for a moment before glancing at Blade. His favoring of one side hasn't escaped his notice.]
Yingxing. [Shit, he says that before he can really think of how he wants to word this. Dan Heng sighs softly, annoyed at his own weakness, but decides to roll with it instead.] ... I know you don't need any more harping on the matter, but... I worry that one day you're not going to have your regenerative powers to save you from situations like that. Dan Feng once had the power to heal with his cloudhymn. However, that power wasn't passed on to me.
[It's hard to say if Blade had that information already in their past lives, but he needs to be honest about it now with him, just in case. The fact this power has eluded him in this life as well... saddens him. With healing magic, that would've been another way he could help protect the people he loves.]
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[He lets go of his side when he hears his name, like a child being caught picking at a bandage. But Dan Heng has something important to say, and Blade absorbs it quietly. He sets his chopsticks down.]
... Because of my plan, you mean.
[Dan Heng has a point. If Blade continues being reckless like this when he doesn't have powers, he's almost sure to repeat the disaster that led to the his first death.
Blade closes his eyes for a moment, and takes in a breath.]
I... didn't realize how much worry you must feel watching me. You were never my backup plan, it's just... I should have died so many times, I suppose I take it for granted.
[He should know better.]
I've been reckless in every memory I have, in every life, but I don't want that to be something that hurts you, too.
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I took someone for granted once. I thought he would be a constant presence in my life. [As he speaks, his tone is quiet and... has an undertone of sorrow and regret.] Now, he's gone. He was a steep cost to learn this lesson.
I don't want to take you for granted, too, especially with power like this. I don't want to hurt you like that.
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This... isn't about him. Dan Heng is talking about someone he knew, not a phantom from his past life.
Blade listens.]
... I'm sorry you lost him.
[Whoever he was, friend or family, he was obviously very dear to Dan Heng.]
I don't know if you could ever make me feel that way. I'm... grateful that you think of me at all. [It sounds a little pathetic when he says that out loud.] You've only ever made me feel... cared about, in this life. Even when I didn't understand it at all.
[He takes a deep breath.]
... Dan Heng. I can't promise that I won't ever take risks. I know the kind of person I am, and I won't hesitate if it's something I know I can do.
[...]
But I can be a little more careful. I need to learn how to fight with my own strength, rather than depending on anything the beast has given me. If that means letting you fight for me sometimes, I will simply have to get over it, or else find a different way to help.
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No matter how grossly misled he'd been, it was... still his choice. All I have left are memories... and regrets.
[He shakes his head again, more firmly this time.]
... But that is neither here nor there.
[The Vidyadhara looks up at Blade. His calm expression doesn't reveal anything obvious, but he does understand. They're both similar in this regard. It just comes from different places.]
As long as you're a little more careful, that will be enough. I won't like the recklessness and risks you take, but I also can't imagine you being anything else, either. I'll manage.
[But at least Blade won't go treating death like it doesn't apply to him. Whether it's true or not is irrelevant in the face of something taking that power away from Blade in a critical moment. The cabin incident is immediately brought to mind.]
That said... [He smiles. Soft and small.] I would've cared even if we didn't have this.
[Speaking of not having something. Dan Heng suddenly looks a little guilty.]
I also need to apologize. About the bracelet you gave me.
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[He had no idea. He really... had no idea. It seems they still have a lot to learn about each other. He squeezes the dragon's hand in return, trying to be comforting-- trying to remind him that Blade is still here.]
We will work it out. [A promise to himself, or perhaps to Dan Heng. They don't have to make the exact same choices they made in their last lives. In this one, Blade has chosen cooperation. Communication, even when it's difficult. He's chosen love.]
Heh... That's right. [That small smile is worth everything, even the bruises he's feeling right now.] I think you cared even when I couldn't see it. [If you wish, I'll see it through to the very end.
... When did Dan Heng say that...?
He pulls himself back to the present.]
The bracelet? [Blade shakes his head.] You didn't have it when you told me about the snake demon's weakness, so I assumed that you had traded it. If that's what happened, then it served you well.
[He smiles a little, as always a touch confident.]
I will make you another one—a better one. That was always the plan if you lost it for whatever reason.
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He scoffs gently at that, amused.]
Can you see it now?
[The faraway look is a familiar one. Not to his past life, necessarily, but in this one. One people tended to get when they remembered a fragment of their previous life. Since it doesn't seem to be a bad memory, Dan Heng won't ask about it.]
... They wanted something that was important to me as a trade for the information. So... yes, the bracelet was the price I paid.
[Blade's smile and easy forgiveness do much to help lessen the guilt. Giving it up hadn't been easy for Dan Heng precisely because he cherished it so much. Yet, hearing that plan earns a quiet chuckle.]
Quite the challenge you've set up for yourself, considering I never stopped wearing it. We'll see if you can surpass it.
[Dan Heng knows that Blade can absolutely do that, but playfully framing it like this feels more like what his partner wants.]
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Yes. [His tone is full of warmth and fondness.
Dan Heng almost sounds like he's daring Blade. He knows him well by now; Blade always wants to do better, work faster, and spurring him on is as easy as reminding him of that.]
If I have my way, the yokai will want the new one, too.
[He finds himself leaning in slightly...]
What if I enchanted it so no one could ever steal it?
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Good.
[The High Elder pretends to consider it. It's ruined by the small smile he's not even fighting to keep off his expression.]
I would not say no, but they didn't technically steal it from me in the first place. What will you do if I must give it up again?
[It's both a tease and a real question. Not that Dan Heng will ever give up Blade's gifts to him without agonizing over the decision. Granted... as long as it doesn't cost him his partner, a bracelet here or there is worth the price.]
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Well...
[His smile grows.]
It could be something that only I could ever take off.
[Why does he have to make it sound so dirty.]
I could even make it a ring.
[BLADE.]
1/3
2/3
Dan Heng's first thought is definitely not a ring that's put on someone's finger, and so he gets a very impressive red blush to his cheeks and the tips of his ears.]
3/3
Please kill him. Both rings are embarrassing for different reasons.]
You... are impossible.
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You're so cute.
[It just kind of slips out but hey, he's not taking it back.]
I'll just make a bracelet for now, and we'll see how it goes. All right? I don't want to make you feel forced into anything.
[He glances away for a moment.] ... I like wearing a reminder of you, and I want you to have that option, if you want it... [Without the matching earrings, which comes with their own baggage.]
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Only to you.
[Which, honestly, Dan Heng is more than fine with. He's just not going to admit that!]
... I think a bracelet suits me best, at least for now. I'm afraid necklaces that are too long might get caught in something.
[It's also one other reason he prefers to keep his hair short when he's human. Lab safety and lower maintenance are his top compelling reasons.
Oh. That reasoning is really sweet, though. Dan Heng will have to keep that in mind. He reaches out to rest his fingers on Blade's cheek.]
I do want that. Honestly, it's nice to wear something that you made for me. I understand that you don't rest on your laurels and always strive to improve, but that's why your crafts have always been worthy of me. Whether it's the pinnacle of your work or not up to your standards, that will always be true.
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[Dan Heng is a very beautiful man and Blade isn't afraid to remind him of this fact.]
Ah, yes... Necklaces are no good for hands-on work. [It doesn't stop him from wearing the occasional choker, but nothing longer than that, lest he lose it to the saw.
His lashes flutter at the touch to his cheek. As always, he stills, and listens.]
I can't think of anyone else I'd want to wear them, [he murmurs. His cheeks are rapidly heating up. He peers at Dan Heng through his dark bangs.] ... Perhaps one day I'll come up with something that I can wear that says I'm yours.
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I'll leave that to your judgment.
[Dan Heng nods at Blade's statement. At least his partner gets it, though he does quietly admire the fact that Blade keeps his hair long regardless.
It does amaze him that a light touch is enough to get the other man's full attention. A small part of him is a bit shy and self-conscious about that. Then, Dan Heng's smile widens just a tiny fraction.]
I look forward to that day. [The Vidyadhara takes his hand away.] Finish eating, and then we can move to the couch.
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I could always get another tattoo, [he says, chasing some rice around his plate.] Dabi does good work.
[The sword and spider lilies on his back are very intricate, and he very much likes them, even if he knows now that the sword was the one he was killed with... It's fine. He doesn't hate the sword.
Anyway, he's not going to idle after an offer of cuddles. Blade wastes no time making the rest of his food disappear.]
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You have a tattoo? [He's not surprised; that seems like Blade's speed, after all, but he is curious.] ...Are you certain you want something of me that permanent?
[There's no judgment in his voice as he asks that last question. It's more like he's asking to make sure Blade's fine with that. Still, the High Elder finishes his food and takes their plates to the sink. As promised, Dan Heng won't wash them. He heads over to the couch in the living room. All things considered, they're probably going to fall asleep here, but that's a price worth paying.]
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I do. I can show you when we're done.
[BLADE DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT SOUND SO DIRTY.]
What kind of question is that? You have left a permanent mark on my heart. Why should my body be any different?
[He'll do dishes after the food settles. For now, he follows Dan Heng back into the living room, tail slowly wagging all the while. At first opportunity, he takes one of Dan Heng's hands and leans in to give him a gentle kiss.]
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I'd love to see it.
[He gives Blade a look.]
Because you have continued to give me the impression that you're impulsive and spontaneous in your decisions.
[Just saying. Regardless, Dan Heng will return the kiss with equal tenderness. It's nice to have this simple gesture of affection to reaffirm to each other that they're both okay. He reluctantly breaks it after a moment so that he can sit down comfortably on the couch. The Vidyadhara isn't about to drag Blade with him, though he keeps holding his partner's hand as he uses his free hand to make sure he doesn't sit on his hair.]
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I can be impulsive and also correct.
[The arrogance. Honestly...
He follows Dan Heng in sitting on the couch, though he's a little less careful about his hair. Blade's used to it getting everywhere. He has much less volume than Dan Heng, so it just kind of flops everywhere unless he has it done up.]
When I first moved to Kaisou, I had the strangest dreams. I still have them sometimes, though they've grown clearer. I drew up a tattoo idea based on what I saw, and had the tattoo done because it felt very important to me.
[Blade lets go of Dan Heng so he can grasp the edges of his own shirt and pull it over his head. Then he moves his hair in front of his shoulder and shifts to give Dan Heng a view of his back. It's scarred to hell, there's no doubt. There are burn marks, shrapnel scars, and faded but still present lacerations... But on top of it all is a vibrant, striking picture of the Shard Sword (unbroken) entwined with red spider lilies and their long fingery petals, resting between his shoulder blades.]
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[This is not a battle Dan Heng can ever win. Though, he's not about to bring up that he's been more right than Blade. It's fine. The only one keeping track is the other man anyway.
He's not surprised that this means Blade has to be shirtless, really. He's just glad that it's not the pants coming off. Still, this is the first time the former High Elder is getting a good look at him. His eyes look over the myriad scars that mar Blade's skin, telling quite the story of his life. This... puts much into context for him.
With a slight bit of hesitation, Dan Heng reaches out to gently touch one of the shrapnel scars. Silent, nonjudgmental, gentle. Reverent. He then moves his attention to the tattoo that adorns Blade's back. It's beautiful, and the unbroken sword brings to mind a flicker of memory. The Shard Sword, but... almost wrong. Dan Heng has to reflect for a moment before realizing that in Dan Feng's memories, this is correct. Yet the previous Dan Heng knows this to have been... broken. Shattered and reforged.
He trails his fingers over the long petals of the spider lilies.]
Beautiful.
[It's hard to say whether he's talking about the tattoo or Blade. Another second of hesitation, and then he presses a brief butterfly kiss to his partner's shoulder. When he speaks up again, his voice is quiet and gentle:]
... I'm glad you're here.
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Blade shouldn't have lived through the accident that changed the course of his life forever. That much is evident from the scars alone. He's not self conscious about them because he's ashamed, but rather because he knows that the obvious maiming of his body makes other people uncomfortable. He's seen others flinch and recoil in real time.
Dan Heng, however, has seen his arms. Perhaps he even left a few scars in his past life, though Blade has long since stopped counting. Blade trusts him without question or hesitation, though sitting like this with his hair pulled away from his neck feels so... vulnerable, and he's not entirely sure why.
He sucks in a soft breath at that first tender touch, his ears pinning against his hair. Oh. That's... more sensitive than he was expecting, but not in a bad way. Suddenly, Blade feels himself blushing all the way to his shoulders. This only gets worse at the compliment. He swallows hard, but the shiver is tangible.
It isn't often that Dan Heng makes him speechless, but here he is struggling anyway. He turns his head as if he could catch a glimpse of Dan Heng out of his peripheral vision, and reaches around to gently set a hand on his knee.]
I am, too. I would be lost without you.
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His expression is a touch distant, but in a melancholic way. Yet, when Blade turns to try to glimpse his face, he brings his gaze to his partner's red eye. Dan Heng's quiet for a moment. Then, he rests his free hand on the other man's. This suddenly feels very intimate, but... he doesn't want to shy away from that right now. So, instead, he meets it by pressing his lips to the nape of Blade's neck while wrapping both of his arms around his waist. The Vidyadhara rests his forehead between his partner's broad shoulders.
He doesn't have words at the moment. Honestly, Dan Heng doesn't think there are any that he can possibly say right now. So he lets his actions and affection speak for him. That he's glad Blade lived. He's glad they have this third chance, that nothing hurt Blade so much that his heart got buried beneath the pain.]
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