heng_like_a_dragon

[Dan Heng hums softly at that.]

Yes, the Aeon of Permanence created the Vidyadhara, and gave us high elders parts of their strength. Though we were worshiped by our people, we weren't truly gods, at least in my opinion. I believe we're more along the lines of demigods.

[Wow, what a gentleman. He says a quiet 'thank you' to Blade as he steps out into the hallway, and starts leading the way out. Dan Heng's in no real rush to leave, judging by his easygoing gait.]

Well, my parents wanted me to go into law or medical school. I wanted to be an archivist, though, so I compromised with them. I double-majored for my Master's in Archival Science and Biology with the intent to continue with a PhD in Research Biology.

[He might be looking a little self-conscious, but it's subtle. It's mostly seen in his eyes. Dan Heng's not used to talking about himself, but he knows that information can sometimes get some... reactions.]

I love learning. This felt like the best way to make a career of it.

[And all without sacrificing his parents' dream for his future.]

I see.

[Blade takes in all of this rather attentively. He doesn't recall a lot about his past life yet, but this feels... correct? If vibes are a way to judge memories. Even more reason to find Imbibitor Lunae awe-inspiring, but he knows it's more than that. Dan Heng is, after all, just a guy like anyone else.

He walks by Dan Heng's side easily, close enough to grab but not to be oppressive. His body language is surprisingly relaxed, though as soon as they get outside he'll be vigilant.]

A double Master's? [He sounds impressed, even for him.] I was lucky to finish my Bachelor's. You may be the most persistent person I've ever met.

[Still... Hearing Dan Heng admit that he loves learning is... cute. He is trying not to smile but it sort of slips in anyway.]

... It suits you.

Edited 2023-09-15 19:10 (UTC)

[Dan Heng appreciates being just a guy in Blade's mind, even if he doesn't know that yet. He has to forge his own path, since he's essentially forever relieved from his duties as Vidyadhara High Elder. His people are gone. The Abundance is gone. There's nothing left for him to protect, other than the small amount of people he lets himself get close to.

He tilts his head in acknowledgement.]

It was what I wanted, so I went and did it. It was... difficult, but worth it.

[Blade has a pretty smile, which is an observation he can't help making. He's never been told that this suits him, either. Already, Blade's been giving him some new experiences. Positive ones, he thinks.]

Um... thank you.

[What else is he supposed to say to that??? Oh, God, he's bad at small talk, but Blade's trying so... he should try, too, right?]

What got you back into blacksmithing?

[Hopefully Dan Heng hasn't just stepped on a mine. It wouldn't be the first time, granted, but he's trying.]

Then that's what matters, is it not? I doubt many other people can say they wanted something and were able to go out and accomplish it, especially at our age. [He's reminded of how Dan Heng thought he couldn't identify the Pokemon quickly enough.] You really undersell your abilities. [...] You shouldn't.

[Just telling it like it is.]

As for me... [Blade actually looks a little uncertain.] Blacksmithing runs in my family. My grandfather told stories about helping his grandfather in the forge, according to my aunt. My father was an architect but he still liked to work with his hands. I spent a lot of time in his shop while growing up. Not that I recall much of this—it was all told to me by my cousins.

[He shoves his hands into his pockets.]

Anyway, I think that's why I went into engineering. Architecture is interesting but it's too far removed from what I like to do. It's not just blacksmithing, for me. Why limit myself to one discipline? So I learned carpentry, leatherworking, glass-blowing, sewing, even how to make and repair different kinds of jewelry. I wanted to know everything. If it could be made with human hands, I wanted to take it apart and remake it better.

[He's tipping his hand a little bit with the hyperfixation, here.]

Where most might see a pile of junk, I see pieces of a puzzle waiting to be put together. Tools to make something new. I've always... had that instinct to create. Even after I woke up in the hospital, I looked down at my scarred hands and I realized—

I realized that if I stopped creating even for just a moment, I'd die. That's what it felt like.

[Has he said this before? He doesn't remember. Probably not. But it's more than he usually says to Dan Heng.]

Maybe I've always been possessed by something.

[Dan Heng isn't certain what to say in response to Blade telling him he shouldn't undersell his abilities. Maybe he makes a good point. Just because he doesn't see it as remarkable doesn't mean others see it the same way.]

Perhaps you're right.

[He listens attentively to Blade's story, and returns the favor of being a gentleman by holding open the door outside for the taller man. Although Dan Heng looks more alert to their surroundings, it's clear that he's still paying attention to what his companion has to say. He's finding that they're similar, in a way. Where Blade doesn't want to limit himself to just one craft, Dan Heng doesn't want to limit himself to just one field of study, either.

Blade's someone special. He doubts he'll ever find another soul like him, no matter how far and wide the search.]

... I don't think so. I think you simply had a moment that allowed you to reevaluate exactly where your passions lie. It sounds to me like that's what saved you.

[Dan Heng glances at the other man thoughtfully.]

If you really wanted to die, you would've never gone through the pain of relearning those techniques. You still saw what you wanted and you went for it. ... Perhaps you sell the value of how much you truly want to live too short.

[Maybe he's gone too far with this, but it feels important. He promised to try teaching Blade how to live again, didn't he?]

[A murmur of thanks as Dan Heng beats him to the door. Well... that's nice. But he still feels like he should be the one holding doors open.

Then he hears what Dan Heng points out, that maybe he reevaluated what he loved.

That's what... saved him?

Blade pulls his eyes from his surroundings, meeting that brief glance with a surprised and... almost vulnerable look. His eyebrows knit together as he realizes his own words are what's being thrown back at him. His cheeks pinken.

He lowers his eyes after a moment, and there's just a little softness he'd never admit to.]

Hmph. Maybe I have found a reason after all.

[... ahem]

What do you drive?

[Dan Heng will pretend he doesn't see that softness in Blade's eyes. He's having to contend with a lot of soft and warm feelings of his own right now. The older man can safely say that he likes Blade, but he doesn't want to admit how much. In his mind, it's almost too fast. Too easy. Even his small crush on Theo took years to develop, though he did squash those feelings for... reasons. Reasons that dealt with a certain, toxic woman in Theo's life.

Plus, there's that damn demon to consider in all of this. That puts a mountain in the way of pretty much anything other than friendship right now. Annoying. Frustrating. And Dan Heng will never admit that.]

Ah... an Accord. A 2016 model, I think. It's black, but I put a stuffed toy on the dash as an indicator. A gift from my sister. I have a feeling you'll know it when you see it.

[Yes, it's a dragon. A familiar dragon.]

[Blade makes a thoughtful noise. He knows the common car models because of course that was one of the first things he did when he was free from the hospital... go to a junkyard and start building shit with old car parts.]

Smart. It's a very common model, so you'd be able to tell from a distance.

[They come up on it and, sure enough, there's a dragon on the dashboard. But Blade... doesn't recognize it. Dan Heng has spent enough time with him to be able to tell that he's... maybe a little upset by this?]

Ah. It's cute, but I don't... [He shifts his weight to his other foot.] I don't remember.

I know I should sit down and watch a bunch of things so I understand the memes, but I'm too busy.

[He's always too busy, but it's also daunting. Like where does one even start if they want to reenter pop culture?]

The color makes it more difficult as well once it gets dark.

[Dan Heng also sees it, but it's the subtle tell of Blade being upset that commands his attention more. He debates with himself for a moment before... well. He takes some pity on him. It's not easy to deal with something like this, and Dan Heng does have compassion. He just... tries to keep it from hurting himself in the process.]

It's a character from the movie Spirited Away. [He hesitates. It's not a date, really, but....] ... If you have the time either tonight or later in the week, we could watch it.

[Blade's not expecting Dan Heng to make such a kind offer. If anything, he thought he'd have to explain again... Thankfully, that's not the case. He gazes at Dan Heng for a long moment. It's probably in his eyes, he's not expecting an invitation of any sort at all.]

... I can make time.

[For you.]

There are a lot of things about myself I don't know. My favorite movies, my favorite food, my favorite color... my favorite holidays. I don't remember any of it. I don't like people feeling sorry for me, so I never bring it up. It's easier.

[He adjusts his jacket.]

But as long as you don't mind having me around, I don't mind working on the first thing, at least.

[The way Blade says that... he can hear the silent words. That he'll make time for Dan Heng. He's just going to ignore how he feels about that, which is definitely not warm. Definitely not.]

How fortunate that we're coming up on a string of holidays.

[His tone is dry, but there's faint amusement that can be heard. Though, the way Blade says that part about not minding having him around... Dan Heng doesn't think he can be his normal, reticent self about it. He's been around the other man enough to recognize low self-worth and self-esteem. Long knows he's guilty of the same.]

I think I can safely say that I like your company. [He very briefly contemplates watching the movie at the apartment and then kills that thought. For one, Xiao. For another, it's small enough to make it awkward with a third person who definitely isn't family.] Since you haven't told me otherwise, I suppose I'm driving to your place first to watch it with you.

[Last chance to back out and make it a different day, dog man.]

[Dan Heng really has no right to be that funny.] Hmm. Maybe it is.

[He's never seen Christmas outside of the hospital.

But as Dan Heng says that, Blade drops the edges of the jacket he'd been fidgeting with. There's that look again, like he's lost in the darkness and Dan Heng is the moon lighting his way.

Then the realization sets in.]

Now?

[Ignore the tiniest stammer there. He's cool, he's cool, he's cool.]

My apartment is a mess. [Housework time? No. Blacksmith time.] And I don't have anything to make for dinner. We'll have to order again. ... Are you fine with that?

[It's not a no, but also, his triangle-shaped ears are SO perked up right now.]

[He has every right to be this funny.

The look Blade's giving him is starting to become depressingly familiar. It's like he's saying something profound, and maybe to the other man it is. At least Blade's distracted when the rest of Dan Heng's words sink in. The man's ears are giving himself away so much, and it's unfortunately adorable. Dan Heng's never been so tempted to reach out and pet them until now. He won't, because he's polite and Blade should have some dignity.]

Of course I'm fine with that, [he says while unlocking the car doors for them. Dan Heng puts his things in the back seat, along with the sword. It's a little tricky to do one-handed since he still has his half-finished boba, but he handles it with the grace of a lot of practice.]

I can also stop by the store on the way and cook something, if you'd rather.

[Dan Heng is offering to come over to his house and cook for him. Is this a date? Is this a date???????

He's not sure if he wants to know the answer.]

I... Haven't I caused enough trouble for you as is? [He buckles his seatbelt, and rests his elbow against the inside of the passenger side door.] At least let me cover groceries if you want to do that.

[Dan Heng's cooking is excellent though, so...]

[Dan Heng gets into the driver's seat and buckles up.]

You're not trouble to me. Also, I wouldn't have offered if I thought otherwise.

[He's certainly not the type of person to mince his words in regards to that. And... well. Dan Heng doesn't like the guy being so hard on himself for 'being a bother.']

I'm fine with that. [As he checks his mirrors while he backs out, Dan Heng casually adds:] You'll have enough leftovers to last you a few dinners or lunches, considering you sounded like you were going to order for yourself anyway tonight.

[He's not blushing he's not blushing he's not blushing he's not blushing. Even though he's looking out the window he is NOT BLUSHING.]

... Right.

[He's not used to people being nice to him, that much is clear, but it was also like-- his own choice? But now Dan Heng is in his life and he can't very well cut him out of it. ... It'd be impossible. For both of them.]

I won't complain... Your cooking is good.

[fffffffff]

Still, I'll owe you after this. [He can't possibly hope to cook anything half as nice. ... Well, if it's going to be like a date, then he might as well continue this. He looks back at Dan Heng.]

I'll take you out to Fireside.

[You know, the fanciest restaurant/steakhouse in his neighborhood. 60-100 bucks a plate and the most decadent roast anyone could ask for. That one.]

Edited 2023-09-16 22:09 (UTC)

Thank you, that's very kind.

[There's still much they'll need to discuss, but... Dan Heng wants to try again, as he's told Blade. The more he's gotten to know this man and his quirks, the less... cold or frozen his heart gets. It's just that Dan Heng's digging his heels in, not wanting to go into a relationship so fast and because Blade being possessed is the biggest road block. As the man keeps reminding him, the beast takes and takes and he has no doubt that it'll try to sabotage them. If not now, then while they're actively in a romantic relationship instead of... whatever the fuck they're doing right now.

If Dan Heng had been any other person, the moment Blade says he'll take him to Fireside might've made him swerve off the road in shock. As it stands, it's Dan Heng. The most Blade gets is a widening of his eyes and a subtle, sharp inhalation. He glances over at the other man.]

I don't think you owe me Fireside for that. It has a reservation requirement, doesn't it?

[Not to mention the price point. Dan Heng really doesn't think he's worth all of that.]

[Blade has absolutely no idea what he does to Dan Heng, that's for certain. For a brief second he wonders if he said something wrong.]

Why not? You keep feeding me, and you helped me find a partner. I think that's more than worth a nice dinner.

[A NICE DINNER]

We can get the food to-go if you don't want to eat inside.

[Blade that is not it.]

The reservations are only for part of the restaurant. The bar is open, or I can make a reservation ahead of time—it's not a problem. [He pauses, and considers:] It's fortunate that we're coming up on a string of holidays.

[HA]

[Holy... how well off is Blade if he can say this so casually??]

No, I'm not opposed to going inside. It's just... um, isn't that a high-end restaurant? As in, one that requires dressing up for?

[Dan Heng's trying his damn best to stay polite without actually asking Blade pointblank if he realizes how expensive that place is. And then the man just casually drops that hint about the holidays. Permanence, grant him strength. Dan Heng sighs softly.]

If you're taking me out to such a nice place, then I would prefer the beginning of December to get prepared.

[Mentally, emotionally, budget- and wardrobe-wise.]

[He knows how much things cost but he's not stupid with his money like Dan Heng's cousin so let him have this.]

It's a steakhouse. You wouldn't be the first person in a polo to show up, and certainly not the last. [He pauses, then his lips curve into a little smirk.] What, are you imagining me in a bow tie?

[Blade actually teasing back is a bit of a development at least?!]

That's fine. I can wait.

[It's a steakhouse, he says. Dan Heng gives him a flat side-eye.]

I'm not going to that restaurant in just a polo. My mother would kill me for being so disrespectful, for starters, and then my cousin would have his turn killing me.

[He returns his attention to the road. The temptation to bite back with how he can more easily imagine Blade in a collar is resisted valiantly, and only because he knows that'll be taken as innuendo.]

I can't imagine it at all, actually.

[His tone is dry as he retorts, but there's a notable absence of ice.]

[Blade tries to stifle a laugh in his hand, but he's only halfway successful. He'll just pretend he didn't say anything.]

If you insist then we can dress up. I'll try not to embarrass you.

[HONESTLY...]

There's valet parking included, at least.

[This... feels easy. Comfortable. Familiar. But he knows it can't be, because their past lives were so fraught with danger and anxiety. That's probably why he can't remember the good times he supposedly had, though sometimes he sees bits and pieces in dreams. In one of them, he recalls gently-gloved fingers tying the bracer around his arm, and then touching his cheek. It makes him ache.

Anything else is always taken from him if he's awake.]

... A few days ago, I spoke to the kid who got rid of his demon. It's real. They found a way to defeat it, and he's free.

It looks like I have another reason to live instead. Even if it's just so we can have stupid arguments like this... I'm fine with that.

[He pointedly keeps his gaze outside, and he thinks of what Kafka said. We are all on borrowed time, Bladie.]

Maybe I'd like to keep on arguing with you, and listen to you talk about your family, and eat the food you bring me, for as long as I can.

That's good enough, isn't it?

[He resists the urge to roll his eyes.]

Of course there's valet parking.

[Because people should abso-fucking-lutely show up to a restaurant wearing a t-shirt when it offers valet services. So appropriate and not at all embarrassing.

However, then the conversation turns more serious. Dan Heng falls silent as he listens to Blade, and something in his heart... aches. He's not sure what to do, honestly. Should he reach out to him? No, he's being silly. Dan Heng's driving and he doesn't want to jeopardize their safety.]

... I'd like to continue as we are, too.

[He feels as if he's been missing something his whole life, but didn't know it until now.]

If that's good enough of a reason for you, it's good enough for me. [Dan Heng pauses for a beat.] I will help you gain that freedom if you want me to. Just let me know.

[Maybe he shouldn't have changed the subject. He's worried for a minute-- but then Dan Heng says that, and Blade realizes he has been holding his breath.

Ah...]

I don't know if I can choose when 'it' happens. If it was as easy as issuing some kind of challenge, I would have fought it a hundred times over already...

[He's quiet for a long moment, and then he says:]

... When that time comes, I'll trust you. If anyone can lead me out of that place, it's you.

[After all, Blade followed him everywhere before. But this time it'll be for their survival, and not the sake of a misguided obsession.]

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