[Blade does understand that, but he doesn't see their love as a shackle in this lifetime. He never has. He knows it's love, and it's real, because Dan Heng is so willing to let him go if he wants to go.]

... I thought so. [He doesn't remember everything, but he remembers enough to know that he must have killed those people.

Mara really did his best to taint every memory they had made together. He wanted to go out with a bang, if he had to go out at all. Now Blade and Dan Heng were left with the pieces.

He remembers the sound of his sword sliding through flesh, the sharp copper scent of blood. It makes his stomach churn in a way he's not prepared for. He pulls himself away from Dan Heng.]

Sorry—

[Thankfully he's not far from the wastebasket. He leans over and grabs it, just in time to heave up the water he drank.

He wipes his mouth off on a nearby tissue and speaks up after a minute.]

... Even if it wasn't me, it was my body. It was my hands that did it. Did you know... despite all the weapons I made, this life, I hadn't killed anyone? I hadn't taken anyone's life. I only ever destroyed my own.

[...]

But your friends are dead now.

I'll face my punishment for that. One way or another.

[He pours some more water, and this time takes a slow sip to help wash out his mouth.]

... He was right about one thing.

You are the most precious thing to me. You always have been.