[Dan Heng's words are reassuring and calm, like the rest of him, like the hand in his hair. But he's so far beyond being able to suck it up and go about his day. One thing leads to another, and another, and another, and now he's all but spilling the depths of his hidden grief and guilt. It isn't about apologizing for vanishing anymore, or dying. He's apologizing for dying back then, and for all the shit he's put Dan Heng through in this life, and some of the last too.
It all feels so insurmountable.
He lost his mind in the cabin. There's no doubt about that. But in exchange, right at the edge of dying, he regained the sweetest and most terrible memories, and he felt so much love.
He's overcome for a while longer as the grieving flame inside his chest burns itself out. Dan Heng's poor coat will have a wet spot, but at least there isn't any blood. His trembling stills, and gives way to sniffles. He still isn't sure what to say when he's finally calmed down; when he pulls away and scrubs his face on his own sleeve, it's without eye contact.]
... Don't look at me, [he manages.] You don't need to feel bad, too.
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It all feels so insurmountable.
He lost his mind in the cabin. There's no doubt about that. But in exchange, right at the edge of dying, he regained the sweetest and most terrible memories, and he felt so much love.
He's overcome for a while longer as the grieving flame inside his chest burns itself out. Dan Heng's poor coat will have a wet spot, but at least there isn't any blood. His trembling stills, and gives way to sniffles. He still isn't sure what to say when he's finally calmed down; when he pulls away and scrubs his face on his own sleeve, it's without eye contact.]
... Don't look at me, [he manages.] You don't need to feel bad, too.