[Dan Heng does listen as Blade says his piece. He still feels a need to apologize, but this time he holds his tongue on that.
Being around you is enough for me.
This man.... Dan Heng may not owe him an explanation, but his heart says otherwise. He wants to tell Blade what's going on. Just... none of the sordid details.]
... In a way, I'm in something of a similar boat as you are. [He swallows.] I'm... trying to figure out who I am in all of this.
[Dan Heng hesitates, but then he finishes wiping his eyes and sits down at the table. His eyes trail to the flowers where Blade might see a hint of warmth in his normally cold expression.]
Perhaps that contradicts what I've told you before. How I have no intention of being anyone's shadow, and that I'm not those people from the past. That's still true. I still stand by that, but... that doesn't make me any less unsure about my own identity.
[He pauses with a small frown as he tries to think of how to describe the feeling.]
When I dream, it's like I'm not myself, but someone else. His thoughts and his feelings as a scene plays out in the dream. Or maybe it's memory. This is exacerbated, admittedly, by my depersonalization disorder.
I... had an episode recently, which is why this kindness caught me off-guard like that.
[Dan Heng looks down at the bracelet, fingering the jade lotus for a moment. Then, he takes it out of the box and puts it on his right wrist. Normally, a certain bracer would be there instead, but this bracelet can be a stand in for it. To him, these two things are on the same level.]
... I may not know myself well anymore, but I do know that I like what you have given me. And I do enjoy your presence.
[He is uncertain about a lot of his feelings toward Blade, but this feeling of enjoyment simply by seeing the other man is his own. That much Dan Heng feels absolutely certain about. He's enjoying his time spent with him and learning more about him.]
no subject
Being around you is enough for me.
This man.... Dan Heng may not owe him an explanation, but his heart says otherwise. He wants to tell Blade what's going on. Just... none of the sordid details.]
... In a way, I'm in something of a similar boat as you are. [He swallows.] I'm... trying to figure out who I am in all of this.
[Dan Heng hesitates, but then he finishes wiping his eyes and sits down at the table. His eyes trail to the flowers where Blade might see a hint of warmth in his normally cold expression.]
Perhaps that contradicts what I've told you before. How I have no intention of being anyone's shadow, and that I'm not those people from the past. That's still true. I still stand by that, but... that doesn't make me any less unsure about my own identity.
[He pauses with a small frown as he tries to think of how to describe the feeling.]
When I dream, it's like I'm not myself, but someone else. His thoughts and his feelings as a scene plays out in the dream. Or maybe it's memory. This is exacerbated, admittedly, by my depersonalization disorder.
I... had an episode recently, which is why this kindness caught me off-guard like that.
[Dan Heng looks down at the bracelet, fingering the jade lotus for a moment. Then, he takes it out of the box and puts it on his right wrist. Normally, a certain bracer would be there instead, but this bracelet can be a stand in for it. To him, these two things are on the same level.]
... I may not know myself well anymore, but I do know that I like what you have given me. And I do enjoy your presence.
[He is uncertain about a lot of his feelings toward Blade, but this feeling of enjoyment simply by seeing the other man is his own. That much Dan Heng feels absolutely certain about. He's enjoying his time spent with him and learning more about him.]