[He lets out a sigh and follows Dan Heng's gaze to the skyline. This bougie-ass apartment complex really does have a nice view of Brick Alley and all the cute little shops anyone could ever want. It would have made another person very happy. But to Blade, all he feels is emptiness.
Something is missing. Something that he fills with what he creates, though it never lasts longer than a minute. When he thinks about pulling away from everything, turning off his phone and never looking at the app again... he knows it would be even less fulfilling than what he's doing now.
Could he cut Dan Heng out of his life now that he's in it? Sure. But it wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't be right. It... it would only drive him madder than he already is. Blade... aches. That is probably the other Yingxing's burden, but the hurt feels all the more real because he can't pinpoint where it's coming from. It's overwhelming and uncontrollable. It makes his demon itch.
When he speaks again, his voice is low and quiet, with barely a trace of the gruffness he usually carries. He sounds small and defeated.]
... Is that what you want? To start over from the beginning?
[Is such a thing even possible?]
You don't owe me anything. You could cut your losses and run.
[Maybe Blade could chain himself to something so he doesn't pursue Dan Heng while out of his fucking mind.]
no subject
... It's fine.
[He lets out a sigh and follows Dan Heng's gaze to the skyline. This bougie-ass apartment complex really does have a nice view of Brick Alley and all the cute little shops anyone could ever want. It would have made another person very happy. But to Blade, all he feels is emptiness.
Something is missing. Something that he fills with what he creates, though it never lasts longer than a minute. When he thinks about pulling away from everything, turning off his phone and never looking at the app again... he knows it would be even less fulfilling than what he's doing now.
Could he cut Dan Heng out of his life now that he's in it? Sure. But it wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't be right. It... it would only drive him madder than he already is. Blade... aches. That is probably the other Yingxing's burden, but the hurt feels all the more real because he can't pinpoint where it's coming from. It's overwhelming and uncontrollable. It makes his demon itch.
When he speaks again, his voice is low and quiet, with barely a trace of the gruffness he usually carries. He sounds small and defeated.]
... Is that what you want? To start over from the beginning?
[Is such a thing even possible?]
You don't owe me anything. You could cut your losses and run.
[Maybe Blade could chain himself to something so he doesn't pursue Dan Heng while out of his fucking mind.]